The Big Heart

As a follow on to my last newsletter below are more juicy tips on how to determine a persons preferences when ‘relating.’  Recall that the heart line is one of the significant etchings in your palm.  A large part of your emotional requirements system can be deciphered from this one line.  The heart line starts on the outer edge of your palm, under your pinkie finger, and runs along the top of the palm closest to the base of your fingers. The termination of the line is the key factor in determining your emotional preferences.  

Since we use our emotions when interacting with others, I use this line to identify the relationship requirements system of the owner of the hand. Wouldn’t it be beneficial to have the ability to understand, clarify and articulate how you like to be treated in relationship? Knowing the preferences of others and working to meet their needs is also crucial for maintaining relationships. 

Heart-Lines 101

The Big Heart

Non-negotiable need: Connection

True Love: Sharing

Shows love by: Nurturing

Gift: Sensitivity


The Big Heart heart line is easy to see in this photo (above).  The white arrow on the left is pointing to the starting point on the outside edge of the palm.  It traverses the upper palm and ends just beneath the index (Jupiter) finger. 

The Big Heart is the ‘other’ oriented.  She (or he) is the caregiver, the generous one, the lover. He or she wants to feel connected, engaged and companionship. She likes it when people are interacting and exchanging feelings. When going to the video store she may take requests from the gang to find out what DVD everyone wants to see.  Or she may consider the mood of the group and select the best fit for their likes. Others needs and wants typically come before hers.   

The longer the heart line is, the more time the owner spends in it.  Because the heart line represents the emotional system and this heart line is long, there is strong desire for emotional connection. When connections are broken, for any reason, it hurts. Even if the relationship is unhealthy, the Big Heart may still be deeply affected. The Big Heart may have a long list of friends on facebook.

If you live with a Big Heart, one of the most beneficial things you can do is 1) include her and 2) allow her to care for you.  If you see tears rolling down the cheeks of a big heart remind her (or him) that you didn’t intend to hurt their feelings.  Gently remind them not to take your words and actions personally.  Encourage the Big Heart to own her boundaries and to keep to her own heart center as well as everyone elses.  A balanced Big Heart continues to put others first but also spends time nurturing her self.  

One of my close friends has this line of “love”.  Over the 15+ years of his marriage, he has put his wife and family’s needs and wants first.  From meal choices, vacation decisions to chores around the house, he maintains a solid, long lasting connection through his commitment to the family ties. This feels good and right to him.  I’ve also seen the fight that can come out at the slightest hint of family splintering or shattering. 

Be on the watch in my next newsletter for a brief description of the Rational Romantic.  

Note of caution:  You have TWO hands, therefore two heart lines. The description from the heart lines are only one aspect of so many that can be read in the hands.  Also, this is not an exercise in predictions or fortune telling, although a fortune will may find!  

Kay is Your Guide for Positive Change using Hand and Fingerprint Analysis to discover your life purpose, Emotional Freedom Techniques to release blocks, and Hypnotherapy to reinforce your decisions to zero in on positive change. She leads workshops to blast you past barriers. It’s time to live the life you were born to live! She is available for private coaching appointments. Check out About Kay and Services

The Hermit

The heart line in your hand is one of the significant etchings in your palm.  A large part of your emotional requirements system can be deciphered from this one line.  The heart line starts on the outer edge of your palm, under your pinkie finger, and runs along the top of the palm closest to the base of your fingers. See the print below with red arrow pointing to the line in the palm.  The termination of the line is the key factor in determining your emotional preferences. 

Since we use our emotions when interacting with others, I use this line to identify your relationship requirements system. Wouldn’t it be beneficial to have the ability to understand, clarify and articulate how you like to be treated in relationship?

Heart Lines 101

The Hermit

Non-negotiable Need:  Freedom

True Love: Work and projects

Shows love by: Doing

Gift: Loyalty 


 The Hermit heart line is easy to see in this print (above).  The red arrow is pointing to the starting point.  It terminates beneath the middle finger.  

It’s best not to ask the Hermit to choose between you and their projects.  Their love of work doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Their projects may be completed with you in mind. Watch for ways they show their love by doing.  Taking care of the yard and car maintenance can be translated into “I love you, honey.”  While their loyalty is a gift, it wouldn’t be smart to take advantage of their good nature. 

Because this heart line is short, there is less desire for emotional connection.  It doesn’t mean they don’t want or like associations, but there is less inclination for relationship.  They will prefer fewer high quality and lasting bonds than a high quantity of touchy-feely connections. The Hermit is practical and traditional.  Because emotions, like water, are often unpredictable, it’s better to give the Hermit time to marinate on their feelings.  They have them, but it takes time to form the water to a container that makes ‘sense’.   

If you live with a Hermit, one of the most beneficial things you can do is 1) allow space and 2) do not pressure for a response to an emotional situation.  If you find yourself saying,” Tell me how you’re feeling,” W A I T and be unconditionally patient for a response.  It may take a week or two.  And if you’re a Hermit, you will benefit by communicating and keeping an open heart.  

Be on the watch in my next newsletter for a brief description of the Big Heart.

Note of caution:  You have TWO hands, therefore two heart lines. The description from the heart lines are only one aspect of so many that can be read in the hands.  Also, this is not an exercise in predictions or fortune telling, although a fortune will may find!

Kay is Your Guide for Positive Change using Hand and Fingerprint Analysis to discover your life purpose, Emotional Freedom Techniques to release blocks, and Hypnotherapy to reinforce your decisions to zero in on positive change. She leads workshops to blast you past barriers. It’s time to live the life you were born to live! She is available for private coaching appointments. Check out About Kay and Services

Quick Tips for Abundance

InfinityProsperity participants packed The Lounge last night.  All engaged in dialogue to regain traction for abundant living.  Below are key points for winning the game. We imagined playing soccer.

Assess your fears so you can determine the reality about them – Fear of the opponent soccer teams goalie can be overcome by ‘watching’ it and learning how to go around it.

Notice your beliefs.  Beliefs are just thoughts and stories you replay over and over and over in you mind.  If you don’t like the belief, change it.  Do “Thought Reform” as Pam said.  Ask “Who’s belief is this, anyway?”  This is knowing your team mates, your game and the rules of the game.

Clearly identify what does Rich or Prosperous mean to you?  Is it ‘getting by’ or living your magnificence?  Write out, draw, or cut out pictures of your Vision of abundance. If you want to win at soccer thinking of water polo wont’ help. You want to ‘score’ in soccer, right?

Call in your Creator to show you the way.  Your Inner Guide will keep you on track.  Practice listening and trusting.

Trade a Thought.  Acknowledge the barrier (anger, resentment, fear, anxiety, self judgment, negativity etc.).  Then trade it for a more positive view (Love, Peace, abundance, joy, magnificence, brilliance, self acceptance, etc) instead.  These are your ‘plays’.

Act as if your vision and goal have been achieved.  Feel the success in your core! Visualize the soccer ball whizzing by the goalie and the score board in your favor.

Tap, tap, tap.  If you know about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) do it! Pressure points near the surface of the skin can be gently tapped on, while addressing limiting thought causes, to free up the invisible log jams in the body’s energy system. This is team practice.

Act.  Do something now. Be in alignment with your vision. Explore.  Be adventurous. Be courageous.  Have FUN playing your game!

Project Snowflake

Its official, Project Snowflake is now underway.  Fingerprints, like snowflakes, are unique. There are no two snowflakes alike.  Fingerprints have a definite and unique message for each owner of those fingerprints. 

My first kid-prints were taken in 2003.  Snowflake Riley was seven years old then.  Now she’s thirteen. 

Talus Dec. 2009My youngest Snowflake, Talus, is five months old (pictured left). Notice the one line crossing the palm.  In this little hand the head and the heart line are combined into one line indicating intense focus.  This little guy is learning to master communications as he integrates his thinking (head) and feeling (heart) systems. 

Many other kid-prints have been taken since 2003 with associated information revealed to their parents.  The results have been profound and helpful to parents.  I’ve seen head lines break and re-attach.  Deep lines of arching around the Moon have paled over the years.  I’ve watched life challenges tap these kids on the shoulder and have been able to offer pin pointed guidance through the changes. Potential antidotes have been shared based on the information decoded from the fingerprints and lines in the hands.

What is Project Snowflake?  Selected children’s hands will be printed and photographed periodically over the next ten years – that’s until Dec. 2019.  At times of difficulties or positive changes I’ll print again, if possible.  Brief interpretations will be shared with the parents and in my newsletters, blog and website.

What is the mission of Project Snowflake? 
– Mentoring for children and teens
– Coaching for parents
– Relay inspirational stories
– Stay connected with youth through life changes
– Observe the life purpose and life challenges over time
– Promote benefits from hand and fingerprint analysis
– Awareness that our lives are literally in our hands.

snowflakeheartPlease join me in watching these snowflakes. I’m totally excited to bring the art and science of hand and fingerprint analysis to the world in this fun and adventurous way.

Project Snowflake Photo Gallery

Constructing Affirmations

By Kay Packard

This is part four of a four-part series to help remind you that your life is in your hands.  Your feelings and thoughts govern the outcome in your everyday life.  “If you wish to see why your body is the way it is – look at how you’ve been thinking for the past 10 years.  If you wish to see how your body will be in 10 years time – look at how you are thinking now. “ – Buddha

To recap, in part three of this four- part series I talked about how external influential factors come in three forms:

  1. Partner
  2. Parent
  3. Environmental


Keep your eye out to quickly identify the negative outside influences so as to maintain your sense of mind taming.  A ferocious lion will devour its trainer who is without constant faith, preparation, persistence, patience and timing.  Taming is vital for success. 

Let’s look at the props you have to help you: 

  1. Awareness
  2. Realization that past conditioning has contributed to your today
  3. Your ability to choose your thoughts
  4. Your decision to see and do differently so that you’re advancing on the ‘high road’. 

Now it’s time act.  Learning is most effective through doing. 

Do you want to make an improvement anywhere in your life?  If so, take a moment now and do something about it.  Here’s your very simple homework: 

  1. Place a piece of paper and pen in front of you.
  2. Sit up with your back straight
  3. Quiet your mind.  Take 3 deep breaths. Everything else can be put on pause for 7 minutes.  Take another deep breath.
  4. You may want to sense or visualize being in your ‘higher mind’
  5. Clarify what area you want to improve (e.g relationship, work, health etc)
  6. Write out your declaration to that which you desire to improve
  7. Say it out loud five times
  8. Keep your affirmation visible – in your purse, on the bathroom mirror and at your desk 


Examples of affirmations you might want to use, modify or trigger your own creative process:

  • I am successful
  • I live with abundance and joy
  • I feel alive with peace, calm and awareness 
  • I am whole and completely healthy
  • I am living naturally and powerfully
  • I am loving and loveable in every way
  • Every day in every way I am better and better 

Take some time now and write out your own personal affirmation.  Then watch for miracles. 

Advanced mind taming (optional):

Pretend your affirmation is an advertisement for yourself.  Now, add music to create stimulating and compelling support for living your new vow now.  

Super Advanced homework for the serious mind tamers:

Write out a number of your affirmations in a dialogue format as though they have already occurred in the past.  Perhaps even address it to a dear friend.  

Say, “Guess what Jane, I am living joyfully and abundantly at my ideal and perfect weight of _____.  It was easy and fun to achieve and I’m maintaining that weight with ease and grace.  I feel alive, vibrant and nothing is disturbing my peace of mind.  I am an outstanding positive thinker and realize fully my potential.  I love and accept my self deeply and completely.  I easily accept what I cannot change and am perfectly ok with that.  I have found it liberating to be free of the need for control and judgments of others.  I am grateful for my new me, everyday.  This is a powerful practice that I am perfecting in each moment.  I have allowed new creations to come through me and am living as God created me.  I am in complete joy.” 

heartParting Comments 

You are bombarded with choices every day.  You face hundreds of invisible forks in the road along the way.  There are a number of ‘realities’ going on simultaneously before your very eyes. Who’s in control of what you’re seeing and making those decisions?  YOU.  No one else is making the choices for you, unless you let them.  Watch and insist on positive thoughts and beliefs.  Notice, be aware, and perform. Be tenacious!  Awareness is tremendously powerful and is required as the first step in positive change. 

Remember, the past is gone.  What you hold about the past is simply in your mind.  The past is really just a thought.  You can choose to let go of what no longer serves you.  When you are present in the moment, in the now, you are free.   If you know about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) tap down the anxiety or tension associated with the past.  Take a walk, do Yoga, Qigong or Tai Chi. get into your passionate self doing what makes you feel the very best in the presence of your being. Be a “Possible-ist” – set up your own reality – new in each moment. 

Consider selecting a role model who is doing/living how/what you want to do/live.  Imagine what she thinks, how she feels, how she handles adversity.  How might she visualize achieving her goals?  What affirmations might she employ and how dedicated is she to her personal declarations? 

If you really want positive change in any area of your life, read this article again and take action now…. Or not.  No doubt, the choice is truly yours.


The following article was published in the Kaweah Commonwealth on June 26 2009.

Guide for Positive Change: How crashworthy are you?
By Kay Packard

On June 1 2009, an Air France Airbus A330-200 en route froAirfrancem Rio de Janiero to Paris crashed, killing all 228 people aboard. After hearing about this devastating plane crash, I immediately made an analogy to our lives.

Facts are still being studied and indicate a possible malfunction in the plane’s electrical system, however, in the beginning, the story indicated a possible weather pattern, something outside the plane, causing the crash. Airline sustainability relies on the dependability of repeated and predictable operations. In this case something unexpected happened.

This story is impressive because it correlates directly to our lives. Each one of us is like a plane, traversing our life-path, going from point A to point B. We also have an internal wiring system that activates our guidance system. Meridians run through our body modeling that of a house-wiring diagram. The EKG machine measures the heart’s electrical activity. When the electrical system within our body gets zapped we can go off course.

We also get physical signals. Our throat, chest, stomach, and back offer superior guidance to deeper issues calling for our attention. For example, saying “yes” when we mean “no” may send an immediate signal to our chest creating anxiety and tension.

The captain of the Airbus A330-200 was experienced and had impressive air time documented. We, too, are practiced at this thing called life. During Airbus Flight 447, at least 12 other airplanes shared the same trans-Atlantic sky, but none reported any problems. “Although none of the other flights are known to have reported weather problems en route, aviation experts said weather can change suddenly and vary over short distances, so one plane might experience conditions far worse than another,” said a news report.

We too, experience “weather” in our lives. Our individual choices and decisions are a large factor in how that weather affects us. What route did we choose when we experienced or caused a particular outcome? Experienced pilots deviate around storm cells. How have you trained yourself to swerve around the storms?

Outdated thought patterns, guilt, anger, and judgment actually prevent us from circumventing undesirable weather and can actually contribute to the danger of storm systems.

Life out-of-the-ordinary happens. Are you in tune with your internal guidance system? Are you tracking your safety records and flight logs? Are you paying attention to your flight patterns? Are you monitoring your computer systems? What benefits would there be if we observed and responded to our internal operating systems on a more regular basis?

We humans may rely and operate on autopilot more often than planes. In fact, there are studies that indicate we can be on autopilot 80 to 90 percent of the time. Think of the last time you drove from point A to point B but don’t remember details of the landscape, other cars, or your speed.

It is helpful for each of us to analyze our own flight pattern history and determine how we are moving closer to our desired destination or not. We are fortunate to have personal indicators within to keep us on target. It’s important to set our flight plan and to be aware along the way. “Autopilot” may not help us when the unpredicted happens.

The unexpected can and will happen, so consider: how crashworthy are you? Will you be able to avoid one? What can you do now to set up for a safer landing?

Guidance for positive change includes observation, understanding, and realization that bad and good happens. Explore the opposites and paradoxes here at “Life University.” When we can look at the difficult lesson and get in the sandbox with it, or witness it from the teacher-tower, we advance on our master path. Take hold of the controls in your “plane” and be conscious of your flight plan, your maneuvers, and the weather.

Remember system failures can make us stronger from experience.

Affirmations and Outside Factors

By Kay Packard

Welcome back for another look at affirmations. This is part three of a four-part series. Your life could be forever changed by taking this topic to heart.

An affirmation is any thought or word you give life to whether positive or negative. In part two (2) of four (4), three steps for improvement were illustrated; Identify core issues, Eliminate limiting thoughts and Reinforce with positive thoughts and words.

You’re now well on your path to accelerating the affirmative and seeing results. Uh oh, a speed bump! Outside factors can derail you if you’re not prepared. External factors come in three forms – maybe more: Partner, Parent, and Environmental. If we miss the road signs, the flags and the flag workers, we might drive right into the hole – again.

macktruckLet’s get prepared. You’re up; your partner is down. You’re affirming the positive; he’s pessimistic. No problem. There is no need for defense, just discrimination. Notice the cynicism coming head-on like a Mack truck. Don’t let it ruin your day. There is no need to change another’s mind set -or the course of the Mack truck – for you to continue on your optimistic highway. You simply need to modify your route. Mac splat is not a pretty site. You always have options.

Suggestions shared during my workshops to connect with the nay-sayer are, “Stop, don’t speak things into being, “ “Keep that to yourself,” “How would you like this to look,” “What is another way of seeing this?” “What is the gift in this?” and “I will lead by example.”

Interacting with others is a fabulous learning opportunity. Adapting and connecting can be mastered with awareness and multiple attempts to see from another’s perspective without loosing our positive approach.

Parents also present an occasion for positive and negative association. You may recall a few of the words and phrases expressed by your mother or father; positive or negative. Look to see which memories serve you. Recall those which take you to your higher ground. Assess your perception of any degrading and belittling statements to see if they are true and where they came from. Many of our parents and guardians were in extreme survival mode. Did they want the very best for us? Most likely they did. However, their style and motivations may have been much different than ours. Take a moment to assess your identity and attachment to your parent’s ideals, beliefs and perceptions. We are not our parents.

Remember, our consistent thoughts, whatever they are, become our reality. We absolutely get what we focus on. Think, say and be the person you want to be. My friend, Cathy says, “Watch for stinkin’ thinkin’.”

DrPepperLet’s look at the environmental factor. Advertisers spend billions of dollars a year to attract you to their products and services. You are attracted through repetition and emotional stimulation. I remember, being a grocery checker at age 17, singing and dancing to the Dr. Pepper delivery man, “I’m a pepper, he’s a pepper, and wouldn’t you like to be a pepper too?” I was hooked on that song and the drink. Wouldn’t you like to have a ‘break today’…at McDonalds? And what about those curious frogs where one said “Bud” and the other one said “Lite”. Catch phrases and musical tunes keep you engaged, interested and ideally spending money.

To get enthused before going out on the town for the evening, one workshop participant tunes in on the song “I’m too Sexy.” Some of the lines are “I’m too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love. I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for your shirt. I’m too sexy for your party, for your party. I’m too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car.” A smile coming to the face reflects an energized body.

Again there is positive and negative stimulation in the outside environment. Latching on to and clenching your positive affirmations is required if you are to live to your fullest life. Unless you grip tightly to your affirmation, “I am living a magnificent, healthy and abundant life,” you might buy into the dramatic advertisements for restless leg syndrome, depression, impotence, insomnia and more.

Give yourself permission to decide which affirmations you’ll own. Watch for outside factors dictating YOUR affirmations otherwise you just might drive head-on into that Mack truck.

Watch for part four of four where you’ll be guided to get more serious about documenting your affirmations.


Kay Packard is a Guide for Inner Awareness, Personal Freedom and Positive Change. Visit to learn more about her coaching services and techniques.

Power, Ambition and the Trigger Finger

by Kay Packard

150px-Jupiter_Smyrna_Louvre_Ma13Zeus is famous for being the god of the sky and thunder.  He caused catastrophic destruction all in the name of his vision, values, principles and his desire for status and turf.  All these characteristics are identified with the trigger finger – the index finger – or in palmistry terms – Jupiter.  Jupiter and Zeus are the same character. Cronus, Zeus’ father, ruled over all gods until Zeus dethroned him and seized the power for himself.  Zeus lived as the mightiest of all. 

Like Zeus, authority figures demonstrate high, moral and righteous characteristics as well as self serving, violating, and compromising characteristics.  Power equals fulfilled ideals.  Influential people, acting positively, empower others to be powerful.  

The trigger finger is named as such because it is used to pull the trigger on the squirt gun or the AK-47 Kalashnikov automatic riffle. It’s used to get things started, to get people to look in a favored direction or to act in a particular way. 
Think about what your Jupiter finger does and why. When the index finger is raised to your lips, people usually quiet down.  When we want money, we use it to press the buttons at the ATM. It can also set off a chain reaction beyond our minds’ comprehension.

Your Jupiter finger and hands provide evidence as to how you wield your persuasion skills.   Look at your index finger.  Is it ‘healthy’ looking, tilted, leaning, wide, thin, long, short or even missing? Are parts of it damaged?  All of this has significance and can be interpreted by a reputable Hand Analyst.  The display of the finger doesn’t make a person better or worse, right or wrong.  It simply shows the individuals’ inclination for personal expression of leadership, influence, command, and vision.  Is that level of inclination serving positively or negatively? 

Long range visioning is associated with the sky god.  What you do with your visions relates to your belief in possibilities, the choices you make and the aim of your goals.  Dreams and ideals drive action toward accomplishment.  The high achiever is good with opposition because she keeps her eye on the prize.  A high achiever plays with fear of success and the fear of being tested.  She may go through stages of indecisiveness and procrastination.  But her ideals, dreams, visions, and determination help get her back on track; re-kindling the ambition. The master puts feelings of inadequacy, intimidation, and numbness to work for herself. 

How do you feel about power?  What does it mean to you?  Where do you witness authority in your life?  On the power path many toggle between being a bully on one side and victim on the other.  The bully’s approach is to crush everything in sight while on their happy path to authority and dictatorship.  The victim’s approach is to hide behind “poor me” “I don’t know how” “I can’t”.  If you’re experiencing either of these extremes it’s definitely time to look at your own personal power and to fool around with it. There is a happy medium. Like the volume control on your home stereo, you’re learning how to get it to the right setting for you.  Are you delegating your power?  If so how?  Just observe how you may be giving away or getting in the way of your own power. 

One of the many life lessons that are revealed in the finger tip patterns is feelings of powerlessness.  The person with this lesson has signed up to discover her personal authority and to trust it.  They must learn this lesson through feeling like they have zero power.  This can be zero power in the home with the family or in the job/career or both.  I often hear “But I can’t live my purpose (be happy) because of my responsibilities and commitments to the family (or job)…which, oh by the way, I didn’t have a say in.” 

Steps for taking control

1) Notice where you’ve handed over your power
2) Get a clear perspective
3) Make a new choice for yourself 

The result?  Balance.  Balance between self (e.g. standing up for the self, your feelings, your personal wants and desires) and the ‘other’ (e.g. family, career, community and government).  Someone else’s plan or goals may conflict with yours. Getting into balance may require polishing up on your confrontation skills. 

Who is the primary authority in your life?  Does your command come from inside or outside?  How do you manage your own emotions? If the skeptic is coming out to respond to or judge this information, all the more reason for you to take a look at how you’re allowing (or not) your passions and dreams to surface.  Experiment with your trigger finger by creating your boundaries, standing your ground and living your passions. Stop letting others hijack your dreams.

It is perfectly natural to make mistakes along the way.  Remember, we’re all moving along the path from student to master!  At Life University, it’s required to do too much and too little, before we get to ‘just right’.

“Without heroes, we are all plain people, and don’t know how far we can go” said Bernard Malamud.  Who are the hero’s and great leaders you look upon? And where is your ‘inner hero’? What leadership style do you value most?  Is Tiger Woods a leader in golf because golf is his passion, because he enjoys competition, status, money and/or because of his father’s dream?  It seems Mahatma Gandhi was driven by purpose and vision for harmony.  Attributes you see in your hero are aspects you possess as well.  How you develop and use your leadership skills is your choice.  You may not need to be the Lord of the Sky, but you will be more fulfilled living in your authority, consciously choosing your system of influence and empowerment within and without.  How are you wielding your Jupiter finger?  Take a look and let me know.

Tobacco Free Experience

Freedom from Tobacco – Who’s Choice is it?
Recently, I facilitated a Smoke Free with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) workshop.  Offering guidance to five women to let go of one of the most powerful and addictive drugs on the planet was risky business?  At any moment the Paraná’s could have escaped their den and devoured me whole. Fortunately, as a Yellow Labrador I didn’t know of their invisible daggered jaws equipped to clamp down tight. It was all fun and they were daring and willing to be here. The power of addiction to nicotine is mind-boggling when not completely understood.  There is great motivation supporting all addictions.  Awareness of the causes is the first step for change.

Many people have come to me saying they really want to stop.  Some say nicotine causes a powerful addiction and there is a perception that it is very difficult to stop. With the right tools and mind-set it can be easy.  Some of those tools are Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), Hypnosis, Re-Sourcing, one on one coaching and your own Higher Mind.

My mom smoked for about 30 years.  Growing up, my family smoked in the house all the time.  Many of my mom’s friends smoked.  Gift marks were left on the coffee and end tables from cigarettes gone wild. My mom joyfully explained that the burn marks on the furniture reminded her of the great times they had socializing.  I have wonderful memories of the smell of smoke and hearing the laughter.  I’ve never smoked, besides once when I was in 6th grade as a curious kid behind the Catholic Church with my friend Tracy.  I have fabulous memories of gatherings in smoke filled rooms as a youngster.

Well, one day my mom felt a growth on her tongue.  My sister took her in for a biopsy.  Sure enough – CANCER.  She went to Stanford and had it removed.  We were fortunate it ended there and never spread.  There are many who are less fortunate.  This is not to scare anyone into a decision to stop tobacco. Scare tactics don’t work; although fears are usually high on the list of reasons to quit.  

My heartfelt passion to help others in their choice of direction is why I do this work. Facilitating self-ownership of individual power fuels the rocket of my desire.

I asked my workshop participants to rate, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the most, their wanting to quite smoking.  I heard a range from 5 to 10.  Honesty and non-self-judgment is crucial and courageous. 

Curious and pioneering souls make it to the 11,000 ft summit of Alta Peak in Sequoia National Park.  Wonder leads to inquiry.  Inquiry leads to questions. Questions lead to answers.  Answers from the Inner self lead to strength, courage, and invincibility. 

Loads of remarkable reasons to stop or reduce smoking were articulated by all.  Also, scores of reasons to continue smoking were exposed.  One of the most impressive truths was the idea that ‘smoking keeps me in isolation from other people’. Also, “What if I fail at quitting?” I asked, “What are your concerns about never stopping?”  These concerns were crushing. The thought of never stopping left them paralyzed. The energy in the room sank like a lead balloon at the thought of smoking for the rest of their lives.  The “C” word reared its ugly head.  We all know people who die of cancer and other horrible diseases from smoking.  That is NOT enough to help people quit. And we know too that not all people who smoke get cancer or die of cancer. 

The nicotine habit is mentally and physically dominating. It’s true.  It appears to have control, power, authority and influence over its users.  Let’s be clear though; the user gives the control to tobacco.  This CAN BE changed through applied mind-management.  

Each woman brought their fertile soil, with planted seed to the workshop.  All nurtured and fertilized their own beautiful gardens of well being and wholeness. The curious souls left the workshop deciding to claim their power over this product.  Gardens grow with persistence, dedication and heart.

People don’t smoke because they want to die.  Some people smoke because it literally feels good. It’s relaxing. My mom chose to quit after her surgery.  She said it was like loosing her best friend.  That has to be one of the most difficult tragedies to suffer. 

Some people smoke because they feel left out and want to feel included. Contributing reasons for smoking include feelings of abandonment, anxiety, stress, guilt, shame, overwhelm, and fear.  Everyone is coping the best they can.  True friends and partners can help by supporting, loving and believing in their puffing partner.  Offering a non-judgmental and loving shoulder is one of the surest ways to expedite the quitting or reduction plan. A critical and judgmental attitude toward the ‘pleased to be puffing’ will keep them backed into a corner.  What do people do when they’re in a corner?  They rebel (cope) with more smoking.

I couldn’t let this go with out sighting the corporate profiteers who capitalize on the negative emotions and addiction.  Some may see it as a sick business others may see it as a god-send.  Either way, they wouldn’t be in business without users.  Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.  Cigarettes don’t kill people, our choices do.


I took this photo at the Dover, Delaware Speedway in September, 2009.  CAMEL is a NASCAR sponsor and attractor.  The lower section of the logo says, “Surgeon General Warning: Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide.”  I don’t know much about carbon monoxide but I see advertisements to buy detectors so that you know if you have too much in your home.  I guess it can be deadly.


This says, “Warning, this product may cause mouth cancer” and it’s pasted on the CAMEL truck to the lower right of the photo above.  My mom experienced the reason for this announcement before the label was required on cartons, boxes and cigarette sponsoring trucks.

Does that deter anyone?  I haven’t done a study, but I actually think the labeling is contributing to the rebellious nature surrounding the invitation to continue smoking.

The key is for us all to have the power of choice and decision.  The first step is awareness of current action – and I suggest this be done gently and kindly to the self.  Beating yourself up doesn’t help; it usually makes things worse.

One of the workshop participants enrolled in Five (5) private coaching sessions with me.  Recently, we completed session #3 and she is experiencing success.  The amount of cigarettes smoked has reduced by 75%.  She addressed core reasons causing anxiety and untangled herself from those issues with EFT and hypnosis.  Her decision to ‘choose’ those few cigarettes a day instead of ‘needing’ them keeps her on her power path.  Affirming “I became smoke free easily”, in the past tense, is also providing strength for her success.  She is doing the work, valuing her decision for change and keeping her eye on the goal. 

Babies don’t climb Mt Everest.  When someone has made the choice for change, infinite avenues of support, encouragement and tools show up.  Success is hers who takes aim and claims her power. Let’s start today! 

Visit Coaching for more information, call 559-561-4490 or email me at  If you’re ready for change, I’m here to help.

Success on the Scales

scaleWhether your goal is to maintain your weight or reduce a few pounds through the holiday season, here’s a fabulous tip. As often as you think of it, say to yourself, “My perfect and ideal weight is _____ and that’s what I weigh.” If you want to trim off a few pounds, fill in the blank with a target weight of no more than 5 pounds less than where you are now. Perhaps write it out on a piece of paper so you see it often. You’re assuring a greater probability of success by taking baby steps. Then begin to notice how your activities increase and your cravings for unnecessary foods lessen or fall away completely. Then when you reach the weight you initially pinpointed and you want to let go of another 5 say the phrase (above) with your new target. Don’t believe me, though; do it yourself and feel magnificent!